


Stay With Me

by GlitterGummybear, PathOfNevermore



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-02
Updated: 2011-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 01:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/207327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterGummybear/pseuds/GlitterGummybear, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PathOfNevermore/pseuds/PathOfNevermore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I really don’t want to see him, Adam. I can’t look at him. I don’t want to remember him like this. I want to remember him like that happy, strong man. Like my dad, who always supported me and who told me to follow my dreams. Not like… how he is now. He’s nothing anymore. Nothing.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay With Me

Adam was horribly moody. It was a particular cold Saturday evening (Whose idea had it been to do a tour in countries that didn’t ever get warmer than five degrees celcius?!), his performance had been a disappointment and Tommy had mysteriously disappeared. The singer sighed theatrically, hoping his boyfriend would be around somewhere and could hear him, but there was no sign of Tommy whatsoever. Of course not. Adam hadn’t seen Tommy all day, with the exception of sound check and the concert itself, and he was worried.

 

The blond man had hidden himself safely in the part of the bus where the others slept. He didn’t want to go anywhere near Adam, or the bus he shared with the singer cause he was afraid to talk to him. He knew that if he would, it would be hard to keep himself from crying. And the last thing he wanted, was to worry Adam.

So Tommy had put a smile on his face and hung out with the rest of the band, telling them some excuse about looking for distraction and not wanting to bother Adam 24/7. He didn’t even lie.

 

Tommy sighed quietly. The smile on his face disappeared and his thoughts started taking over his head once again. He took his phone out of his pocket and noticed he hadn’t missed any calls or received any text messages. He decided that it was a good thing no-one had contacted him, cause they would definitely call him when something was wrong. Still, he couldn't really convince himself that everything was alright.

 

It was about half past two when Adam was startled by the loud noise of a door being slammed shut. He reluctantly got out of bed again. He would be doing a hell of a lot interviews the next morning and he could use some sleep, but that would never work like this. He rushed to the part of the bus where the entire band would usually sit on talking about the concert, but now it was late and empty. Where were his friends when he needed them? Where was _Tommy_ when Adam was worried about him?

 

The singer couldn’t resist smiling when he saw a dark shadow moving near the bus entrance. “Tommy?” he whispered, “is that you?”

Tommy stood still immediately. His eyes were big, like those of a deer caught in the headlights of a car. His breath caught in his throat and he hoped, he wished, that Adam wouldn’t see him.

“Tommy,” Adam repeated.  “Tommy, come on. Please.” He carefully approached his boyfriend. “Please?”  
The other man shook his head and took a few steps back. “Not now. I…” He had to think of something he could say, something Adam would believe. “I want to sleep, I’m tired. I’m sorry, baby. I love you.”

Tommy turned around and walked away. He didn’t even think about the fact that he was walking in the total opposite direction of the bed. This way his words turned out to be not very believable anymore.

Adam watched him, feeling incredibly disappointed. Tommy looked really bad and the singer felt so guilty. The tour had been going on for so long now and they didn’t really have that much time off. “Hey,” he tried quietly. “Hey, if you need a day off or something, just tell me, okay? I can try and find someone to replace you for a day if you want.” Having said that, he turned around and went back to bed.

 

Tommy turned to Adam again and watched him leave. He quickly averted his eyes again. “I don’t want to be replaced,” he whispered quietly. He would love to be with Adam, to cuddle up with him and to tell him what was going on. But he just couldn’t. He would just be bothering Adam, like  he always did.  With his insecurity, with his doubts about this relationship being a clever thing to do or not… He went to Adam with everything he could think of.

This was something he had to deal with himself. This – or _he_ , actually – was something close to him. Not to Adam.

 

Tommy dragged himself to the lounge and sat down, just staring into nothing for the next half hour. His cell phone was right beside him, but it hadn’t beeped for even a second.

Eventually he picked up a book and started reading, without following what the story was about. His body begged for some rest and this was just something to keep him awake.

Time went by slowly and the night became early morning again.

 

Adam had slept terribly. His bed was big and even bigger without Tommy in it. He sat up, his hands flat against his face, hoping to see Tommy when he lowered them. Nothing was further from the truth. He shook his head violently. Tommy had been like this for days and it had been enough. Without even checking if he looked at least slightly decent, he walked to the back of the bus, where he had found Tommy last night. He bit his lip softly when he found the bass player on the couch. He was asleep.

 

The singer sighed quietly and sat next to him. He carefully stroked Tommy’s cheek, just to let him know he wasn’t alone.

Tommy startled awake and looked right into Adam’s eyes. He immediately looked at his book again. _Read, read, read. Don’t think. Don’t feel sorry for yourself._ He felt his lips quivering and he closed his eyes for a second.Luckily his hair was in front of his face. He stood up, not without difficulty, and tried to get away from Adam. It didn’t go very easily, for his body was too tired to function normally. Adam hesitated, before carefully taking Tommy by his wrist. “Baby, what’s going on? Is something wrong?”  
“Nothing, nothing’s wrong.” Tommy shuffled back to the couch and smiled at Adam to reassure him. “I just didn’t really… feel like sleeping. Can I go and make some coffee now?”  
“Erm.” Adam watched his boyfriend with worry in his eyes. “Erm, yes or course. I’m sorry.”

Tommy smiled thankfully and walked into the small kitchenette, to make himself some coffee. Waiting for his coffee to be ready, he leant against the sink and closed his eyes for a minute. He would love to go and get some sleep, but he couldn´t. He thought his mobile phone beeping but shook his head. He probably just imagined it, because he wanted his phone to beep. He wanted to know how his dad was doing..

 

Adam though was startled by the sound and automatically grabbed Tommy´s phone from the table. He only hesitated a few seconds – secretly eyeing his boyfriend – before reading the text. It wasn’t as if Tommy had secrets for him, or so he thought. His breath caught in his throat when he realized what the text was about.

 

 _Hey honey, I’m sorry we haven’t got in touch with you. Your dad is getting weaker now and we hope that he’ll make it till when you have some time off. He really wants to see you. Do try to enjoy the tour, okay? xx_

 

“Fuck!” It was just a whisper, but Adam still checked if no-one heard. _Fuck_.

 

It took a few minutes for Tommy to come back with two mugs filled with coffee. He knew his boyfriend could use some on early mornings like these.

He smiled as he put the two mugs on the table and went to sit next to Adam again. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Sorry?” Adam smiled warily. “What did you say?”  
“I asked you if you slept well,” Tommy laughed quietly. He carefully took a sip of his coffee, before looking up to Adam again. “Something wrong?”

“I slept okay.” Adam softly pulled Tommy closer to him. “But I sleep better if you’re close.”  
“Yeah, I wasn’t tired, really. I’m sorry.” The bassist smiled weakly and looked down to his hands.

“Tommy…” Adam let his fingers slide over the back of Tommy’s hand. “Tommy, if something’s wrong, whatever it is… You can tell me, right?”

Tommy slowly looked up to Adam. “I know,” he smiled and nodded. He took another sip of his coffee, before taking his phone off the table. The weak smile was still on his face as he opened his inbox and noticed a text he hadn’t read before. He read it and his smile disappeared. This wasn’t the news he’d been waiting for. This wasn’t positive at all.

Adam bit his lip, while he watched Tommy. “Baby…”  
“Mmh?” Tommy looked up, right in Adam’s eyes. “What’s up?” He smiled sweetly.

Adam averted his eyes. “I’m worried, okay?”

“There’s no need to be, Adam. I’m fine.” Tommy nodded once more before turning to his coffee again. At least the mug wasn’t staring at him like that.

The singer sighed. “I read that text.”  
“Which one?!” Bewilderedly, Tommy looked up again. He shook his head and bit his lip.

“The text you’re reading now,” Adam mumbled. “I’m really sorry. I’m just so worried and you didn’t want to tell me anything…”  
“Oh.” The blond guy fell silent for a minutes. He drummed his nails against the table and kept staring at it. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to bother you with something like this. You already have so much on your mind and I need to get through this by myself, it’s… it’s about my dad.”

Adam sighed. “But you’re my Tommy…”

Tommy smiled sweetly, despite the fact that his eyes were tearing up. “You’re sweet, Adam. I really mean that. But I don’t want to bother you with this. The tour’s work enough without – er – my drama.”

“Oh baby.” Adam hugged his boyfriend tightly. “Don’t worry about me.”

The other man couldn’t hold his tears anymore. He hid his head in his own hands and started crying silently. He felt so weak.

 

“It’s so hard, Adam. I don’t want you guys to worry about me, but you all do. And I try to act normally but it doesn’t work.”

Adam sighed and brushed a strand of hair from Tommy’s eyes. “Listen,” he told him quietly. “This is about you. Not about Monte, or Cam, or whoever else. You have every right to be sad and if you want you can talk to us as much as you want. I’m sure no-one will be bothered by that, baby. Don’t worry about that, you’re not alone and everybody here loves you.” He quietly added: “And I love you most of all.”

Tommy’s lips curved into a small smile. “I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to die, Adam. It’s just not right, he’s way too young. It wouldn’t be right if I’d die now, right? It’s exactly the same with him. It’s not right and that’s the worst thing.”

 

Adam remained silent; he didn’t have a clue of what to say. He tightened his grip on Tommy.

The blond man put his hands in the pockets of his hoody and laid his head on Adam’s shoulder. A bomb had exploded in his head, but he didn’t say a thing. He tried to put everything in order, but it didn’t work. He didn’t even know where to start.

“I really don’t want to see him, Adam. I can’t look at him. I don’t want to remember him like this. I want to remember him like that happy, strong man. Like my dad, who always supported me and who told me to follow my dreams. Not like… how he is now. He’s nothing anymore. Nothing.”

Adam sighed. “That’s not true. He’s still your dad. He’s still that happy, strong man.”

“Yeah, hidden behind a deadly pale face, I guess. I barely recognize him.” Tommy’s eyes teared up. He clenched his jaw and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m scared of seeing him, the way he is now,” he whispered softly, barely audible. Admitting that he was scared of something, wasn’t really what he liked to do.

“Of course you’re scared,” Adam said quietly. “And you may be. But think about it, is that what’s holding you from visiting? If that’s it I think you should try to get over that, baby.” He sighed. “I know it sounds a bit harsh and I know it sounds a lot easier than it is, but Tommy, don’t you think it would be best if you just went to see him?”

“Yes. Yeah, you’re right. I do want to see him before – You know. But it’s so hard. What if I say something stupid, or what if I’m too late or start to cry? I just can’t handle this, Adam. Who _would_ be able to handle this?”

He looked at Adam again and smiled weakly. He was so happy to have him.

“Hey, I shouldn’t bother you with this. You probably have way too much to do before the show. That goes first.”

“No way.” Adam smiled at him. “You go first. It’s still early and the show isn’t until tonight.”

“I really want to play tonight, anyway. It would me stupid to just leave. I don’t like to be replaced,” the bassist smiled. His eyes sparkled for a second and he seemed a bit more like himself again. However, it didn’t last for more than a few seconds. His head was too full of thoughts for him to be able to truly smile. To truly forget everything for a minute.

Adam smiled too. “If you want to play, you should. It would do you good.” He kissed Tommy softly.

 

And so it happened that, a few hours before the show, they started sound check. Tommy played his parts as well as he could, but he wasn’t focused. Now and then he stole a glance at Adam, who was singing at half capacity, to not strain his voice.

The bassist let his head hang low and looked as his bass. He played on calmly. His hair  partly covered his face, as usual.

 

If you asked Adam, sound check took way too long. He constantly kept an eye on Tommy and stayed as close to him as possible. He’d rather cancel the whole show to give Tommy time to go home, but there was no way.

 

Tommy sighed in relief when they were done. He left the stage immediately and found an empty room so he could be alone for some time. He took his phone from his pocket and turned it around in his hand a few times. He stared into nothing, totally cut off from the rest of the world. He felt something had to be wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. It just didn’t feel right.

 

Adam had followed Tommy and knocked on the door softly. He didn’t go in. “Hey,” he mumbled. “Honey, if you need me…” An uncomfortable silence fell. He just wanted to go in; to held Tommy close and comfort him. “If you need me you know where to find me, right?”

Tommy made a soft, affirmative sound. He knew that if he’d say something, Adam would notice how close he was to falling apart immediately. He didn’t want to be alone, he _hated_ to be alone, but what could Adam do to make this go away? Nothing. Just like Tommy himself couldn’t do anything.

“Tommy?” Adam bit his lip softly. “Baby, are you alright in there?”

Tommy sighed. “Adam…” he said. The pain was evident in his voice, the fear of losing someone who meant so much to him. He kept looking at his phone, turning it around in his hand faster than he’d done before. He looked at it, but didn’t really see. “Adam…”

 

That was all Adam needed. He opened the door slowly and was startled when he saw Tommy. His boyfriend hadn’t been looking so well during sound check and it only got worse. The singer put his arms around him and hugged him tightly. As if it was a sign for Tommy, an excuse for crying, he burst out in tears. He hooked his fingers in Adam’s T-shirt. “I’m so sorry.” There was so much he could have said, but he decided to apologize. He felt guilty for taking Adam with him in all the drama.

“You’re sorry?” Adam kissed Tommy’s cheek. “Hey, you don’t need to apologize for anything.” He didn’t know what to say anymore. There was nothing that could make this right. So he kept silent and hugged Tommy tighter, caressed his hair.

It made Tommy calm down a bit and he closed his eyes. It felt so nice in Adam’s arms. He listened to the singer’s calm breathing and followed it, a faint smile playing around his lips. He slowly started to fall asleep, feeling really calm now, but he was startled awake by the sudden sound of his phone. He almost let it fall and his heart skipped a beat. “Wow,” he whispered softly. Adam smiled, but his eyes didn’t laugh with him. He looked at the phone. Tommy was holding it so tightly Adam was surprised he wasn’t actually crushing it. “You’re not going to take that?” he asked quietly.

“I guess it would be clever to take it,” Tommy said. He stared at his phone intently.

Adam nodded. “Come on.”

“Meow.” Tommy smiled weakly, before taking the call.

“Hi, it’s Tommy Joe.” His voice was emotionless. He had no clue how to act.

His mother’s voice was far from emotionless. He heard she was on the edge of crying and it broke his heart. He curled his fist in Adam’s shirt. His knuckles turned white. Adam held him tightly and caressed Tommy’s back. His eyes didn’t leave Tommy’s for a second. He waited silently.

 

The bass player listened to what his mom told him, while he bit his lip violently. The calm look in his eyes made place for a sad, broken one. “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said, before snapping his phone shut and letting it fall on the floor.

 

Tommy trembled. His whole body trembled and he shook his head. It couldn’t be true, it had to be a joke.

Adam watched him. His boyfriend looked so vulnerable and it made him think anything he would say would be the wrong thing to say. “You have to go?” he whispered after a long silence.

“The show,” Tommy whispered with a broken voice. “Adam.” He held on tightly. The trembling wouldn’t stop. He didn’t know how to act, what to say or what to do. This wasn’t something you could plan beforehand.

“Don’t worry about the show,” Adam whispered. “If you have to leave, I’ll make sure everything will be arranged.”

The blond man nodded slowly. “Yeah, I should go,” he said softly, after he was calmed down a bit. “It’s getting worse, you see. It’s getting worse really fast…”

He tried to keep calm, knowing he had to be able to think the whole thing through. How could he arrange to be there on time?

The minute he really didn’t know what to do anymore, panic crept up. “Adam,” he whispered softly, trying to be even closer to his boyfriend.

“Shh, calm down.” Adam’s stem was soft but clear. “I will make sure that you’ll be on a plane within an hour.” He smiled slightly and took Tommy´s hands in his. It wouldn’t be right to tell Tommy it would all be okay, or that he shouldn’t be worried. What _would be_ right to tell him, Adam didn’t know. He tried his best.

Tommy smiled thankfully. It wasn’t a real smile, not a happy one at all, but it was clear that he was really thankful to Adam.

“Er – ” He closed his eyes and tried to think clearly. “Do you think I have to tell the others?” he asked Adam.

“Only if you want to. You don’t have to now, if you don’t want to…” Adam was back to softly caressing Tommy’s back. “Only if you want to, okay?” he repeated.

“I’ll go.” Tommy nodded curtly, before he stood. “I should be honest to them. And I think Monte already knows something’s wrong – he gave me these looks during sound check. I’m surprised he didn’t ask yet. I’ll just tell them.”  
“Do you want me to come with you?

“You don’t have to,” Tommy smiled sweetly. His eyes though, begged Adam to not leave him alone.

“But I can, right?” Adam asked. He hated to see Tommy like this.

Tommy smiled softly and nodded. “You don’t have to ask that.” He kissed Adam carefully, just because he wanted to feel Adam’s lips against his for a second. “You’re really sweet, Adam. Thanks.”

Adam smiled too. “No problem.”

Tommy extended his hand to Adam. “You coming?”

The singer nodded and took Tommy’s hand. Together they walked into the big changing room.

 

Monte was the first to look up. His eyes went to Tommy immediately.

Tommy squeezed Adam’s hand nervously. He sighed quietly. He didn’t know what to say, how to start, or if he should even tell this at all. Adam squeezed back, but didn’t say a word. This was something Tommy had to do on his own.

“Well, I’ve been kind of – distracted these days. I guess you guys noticed that. And, er, I have a reason for that. My father hasn’t been so well lately and – er – it’s gotten real bad.”

He sighed loudly and looked down at his feet. How was he going to tell them all this? He looked up at Adam quickly. “Help?” he whispered quietly.

Adam nodded. “I’ll make sure Tommy can be on his way home as soon as possible, to see his dad,” he said quietly. “We’ll be doing the show without Tommy, but I’m sure we can all agree that this is more important.” All he wanted was to go with Tommy. He wanted to be there the entire trip, till Tommy was with his parents.

 

Everyone nodded in agreement. Of course this went first. This could be the last time Tommy would see his dad. The entire room had gone quiet and Tommy – Tommy didn’t know how to feel anymore. Of course, everyone would die some time, including his dad, but it shouldn’t have been like this.

 

Adam squeezed Tommy’s hand softly. “I’m going to take care of things. You want to stay here or…?”

“I’ll stay here,” Tommy said softly. Maybe it would help distract him from what was happening to be with the band for a bit. “But, Adam, who’s going to play the bass parts now? I…”

“Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out. This goes First.” Adam kissed his boyfriend softly, before he left the room.

“Yeah… Yeah, he’s right, I think.” Tommy smiled weakly. He sat next to Monte without saying a word. It made him feel uncomfortable to have everyone’s eyes on him. Monte squeezed Tommy’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry, Tommy,” he mumbled.  
Tommy shrugged. “It’s all part of life.”

 

It took Adam about half an hour, before he appeared in the dressing room again. Tommy stared at the floor and didn’t even look at him. His boyfriend sat next to him and put his hand on Tommy’s knee. “Hey. Everything’s settled,” he said quietly. “The plane will be leaving in an hour and a half. I already called a cab.” He squeezed Tommy’s knee softly.

Tommy looked at him and smiled thankfully. He kissed Adam softly. “So I guess I’ll have to leave soon?”  
Adam nodded. “I’ll walk you to the cab,” he said quickly. He just wanted to go with Tommy, but all that was left for him to do now, was to reassure Tommy a bit. And that was something he’d rather not do with the entire crew there.

Tommy nodded and stood. “Er – I um, I’ll see you guys soon?” he smiled weakly. Everyone wished him good luck, but no-one could find the right words to actually say something. The bassist looked at Adam and nodded weakly. “You coming?” he asked.

Adam nodded and took Tommy’s hand. Together they walked to the back entrance of the building.

 

Just in front of the door, Adam stopped abruptly. “Hey, wait a minute.” He carefully pulled Tommy back. Tommy turned around and looked at Adam confusedly. The singer shrugged. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”  
Tommy smiled sweetly and nodded slowly, looking at Adam. “When I come back I expect you to have some awesome stories about the show for me,” he laughed.

“Of course,” Adam said. “Just – look after yourself, okay? I know you feel horrible, but please take care of yourself.”  
“I will,” Tommy smiled. “And I’ll be back as soon as possible, but… I really have to go now, I think.”

“Yes, of course,” Adam said. “I’ll be thinking of you,” he mumbled before he let Tommy go, and, “Text me when you arrive at the airport okay?”

“Okay,” Tommy nodded slowly before walking to the cab and getting in.

 

~

 

It had been one and a half week since Adam had last seen Tommy. Of course the two of them had been texting each other, but there barely were any phone calls. And when there were, Tommy was quiet and distracted.

 

Adam sighed and sat down on the soft hotel bed. That night’s show had been quite good but it just wasn’t as fun without Tommy. Impatiently the singer started looking for his phone, eager to read the last message Tommy sent him. “Hey, I’ll leave from the airport in about an hour. I’ll be at the hotel at 1am. Room number? xx”

 

Adam sighed. One A.M. That meant he had to wait for another hour and a half. He shoved his phone to the other end of the bed. He hoped Tommy was okay.

 

After what felt like a lot longer than ninety minutes, there was a soft knock on Adam’s door. When Adam opened the door, he finally saw Tommy again, who was smiling weakly. His hair stuck to his face, his clothes were soaking wet and he looked incredibly tired. Without saying a word he went inside and just stood there, in the middle of the room, sighing quietly.

 

Adam hurried towards him. “Hey,” he whispered and hugged Tommy tightly. “Are you okay?”  
Tommy nodded and pushed himself against Adam, welcoming the embrace. “I’m okay.”

Adam started caressing his back and quietly asked him “How was it? I mean… I get it when you don’t want to talk about it, but – ” He fell silent and smiled uncomfortably. “Come on, sit down. You look so tired. Do you want something to drink?”

Tommy kissed Adam softly and smiled at him. “Hush. Don’t stress out. It’s okay. I just want to be with you.”

“Oh.” Adam nodded and pulled Tommy towards the bed anyway. The bassist looked like he’d fall asleep any moment.

“Maybe I should get some dry clothes first?” Tommy smiled at his boyfriend. He really didn’t know what to say or do. He just wanted to stop thinking about what happened, but he couldn’t. He’d lost his dad and there was nothing he could change about it.

 

“Oh. Oh of course,” Adam said quickly. “You really don’t want a drink?”

“Er, I don’t know.” Tommy shrugged. He stood slowly and got some dry clothing out of his suitcase. He changed quickly and sat back on the bed. He looked back at Adam. “I don’t think I’ll be really entertaining tonight.”

Adam raised his eyebrows and hugged his boyfriend tightly. “I’m happy you’re back. And – if you’d like to talk…”

Slowly, Tommy shook his head. He closed his eyes for a minute. “I don’t know what to say… There’s not much to tell, right?”

Adam shrugged. “I don’t know. How do you feel?”

“I don’t know? Not that happy. More – emotionless. It was so weird to see him in a coffin and – it was a nice coffin. I don’t know if that’s something to be happy about though? I mean, it’s not like he noticed. And all these crying people… When they came to me I had no clue what to do. I didn’t know what to say… And I felt really uncomfortable – and, yeah, I don’t know.”

Adam nodded. “Things like that will never be easy… As long as you have the feeling you had enough time to say goodbye to him. I think that’s important.” He bit his lip nervously.

“I did.” Tommy nodded and snuggled closer to Adam. “And I had to like – say something and I’m so bad at things like that. All those people were staring at me and crying and – that coffin was just there… But I did it and I just – I don’t know, talked to him? That felt really nice, I mean, as far as something like that can feel okay. And in the end it was a good way of saying good bye.” Tommy smiled weakly. “And maybe I’d like a drink after all.”

“That’s a good thing – I mean that you were able to really say goodbye,” Adam said softly. He stroked Tommy’s cheek carefully, before he stood. “What do you want to drink?”  
“Er, I could use a beer,” Tommy smiled. He tried so hard to convince Adam he wasn’t affected by the entire thing, but of course Adam noticed. And although Tommy’d rather not talk about it, it felt safe Adam knew.

Adam passed him a beer and sat next to him. “So,” he mumbled.

“How was the show?” Tommy smiled. He snuggled closer to Adam, wanting to feel his warmth and Adam’s strong arms around him. It felt safe. He put his head on Adam’s shoulder and closed his eyes. He brought the bottle to his lips and sipped his beer.

Adam shrugged. “It was okay. Not that interesting. We did miss you though.”

“That’s sweet,” Tommy said. “I bet you missed being able to kiss me on stage?” He laughed softly, and took another sip.

“Hey, am I _that_ predictable?” Adam grinned. “Not just that though. Your stand-in was kind of okay but – ” he waved his hands in the air vaguely “you play way better. He didn’t really have his own – sound, you know. I can’t really put my finger on it, but, yeah.” He smiled. “And I didn’t just miss kissing you _on_ stage,” he added softly.

Tommy smiled sweetly. “So what _did_ you miss?” he whispered softly, slowly caressing Adam’s arm with his hand. His boyfriend pouted. “I didn’t get to kiss you for over a week.” He smiled. “And I really missed you, Tommy.”

“I missed you too,” Tommy laughed. He pulled Adam in for a kiss, forgetting his own sorrow for a moment. And at that moment, in which he let his hand slide through Adam’s hair, his body tingled and felt himself become calm again.

He carefully pulled back to look at Adam. Tommy smiled weakly and averted his eyes. “I’m sorry, I just had to kiss you.”  
“You’re _sorry_?!” Adam laughed loudly, before he launched himself at his boyfriend and kissed him deeply. He smiled happily once he let go of Tommy again.

Tommy laughed quietly. He carefully pushed Adam on the bed and snuggled against him. “I missed you so much.”  
“Missed you too,” Adam mumbled. “Glad you’re back.” He looked at Tommy’s face and caressed his cheek. “You look really tired, baby. Don’t you want to go to sleep?”  
“Yeah. Yeah, maybe I do.” He smiled and nodded slowly. “Had a tough week.”  
Adam nodded. “I believe that.” He put his arms around Tommy and hugged him tightly.

Tommy put his head on Adam’s chest and started caressing his side. He slowly closed his eyes and slowly started to fall asleep. The hotel room went silent.

 

“You know,” Tommy suddenly mumbled, “I do miss him, but if he’d still been alive he would have to go to the hospital so often… And his health wouldn’t really get better. It might be better, this way.”  
Adam nodded, holding Tommy closely. “It might be better,” he agreed. “I’m going to change, I’ll be right back, okay?” He let go of his boyfriend, but Tommy didn’t react. Adam grinned when he saw Tommy’s eyes were closed. “Tommy,” he said softly. “Baby, can you move your head off my chest. I want to change. I’m not going to sleep in my jeans.”

Tommy didn’t move.

  
Adam shook his head, smiling. He was happy Tommy fell asleep so quickly. He put his arms back around him and pulled him in a hug. “This is fine, too,” he whispered. “Sweet dreams, baby. I missed you.”

 

 

 

 


End file.
